Happy Thanksgiving

I was reading Andy Rooney the other day and saw something that seemed very appropriate given the time of year. It was passage about the president's personal life, and how there must be times he just needs to sit back and call a friend just to shoot the breeze. Andy Rooney wrote, "I often have a guilty feeling going past a hospital. I know how many sick and dying people there are in those rooms and yet how long can any one of us feel sad about everyone in trouble in the world? We have to shut out the thought of some of what we know in going on and proceed with our lives."

Wow. Think about that. The president is a man with the entire world on his shoulders. He has a front row seat to all of the death, destruction, homelessness, poverty, abuse, neglect, injustice, genocide, rape, and every other kind of horrible thing imaginable and unimaginable. And he is the man forced to claim that one life is more important than another, that a story about an assassinated dignitary is more important than a boy whose parents beat him to death for spilling his food. He must put the thought of that little boy to the side. That's gotta be a bitch.

I am the kind of person who reads a story of a person that was hurt, or abused and it affects me. It doesn't matter when or where it happens, these stories will affect me. Soon I will put them in the back of my mind, and there are days I hate myself for it.

But we can't think about it all the time. When we hear a story like that, we can't dwell on it, or we'll never be able to function. We can't constantly remember the people who don't have food. We can't take on the weight of the world. We have to shut it out, even though we can see the pain going on around us.

And we cry, we scream, we want to throw something. We do that because we cannot save them. But there are times we have to stop, so the little girl sitting at the kitchen table doesn't have ask why daddy is crying, and doesn't have to concern herself with the problems of the world. So you can delay the inevitable and irrevocable fact, that she will be thrust into a world with people who hurt, and maim, and rape, and kill. And you keep her away from it because she is happy, and you need her to be happy, because then at least one more person will be. She has a roof over her head, clean clothes, plenty of food. She'll even get presents for Christmas. While others will get nothing but pain, and if they're lucky, the ability to wake up another day and hope it may get better.

Be happy that you can push these kinds of thoughts to the side and thought you can never forget them, you don't dwell on them. Give thanks for what you have, but more than anything, give thanks you have the ability to direct your thoughts to something other than the problems of the world, even if it's just for a minute to call up grandma and tell her you love her, or to read a little Andy Rooney.

Ever get pissed at fictional creatures?

Vampires are pissing me off.

Vampires and James Bond villains.

First, the vampires. They are ruining it for every man ever. Has anyone noticed this? The entire world has been capitulated into a society of sexy vampires who can beat the hell out of anything. With the upcoming Twilight, those 187 billion fans of it who will no longer accept any man who doesn't sparkle.

Seriously, this goes back to Jane Austen. I blame her. Pride and Prejudice gave the world Mr. Darcy. Utter perfection in human form. But because of the passage of time (and the general acceptance of the satiation of inquiry) many women forgot who he was. Then Edward comes along.

Didn't vampires used to be either guys like Dracula, who is kind of evil, or Lestat, who is just as bad? Now we have hot men who don't wear shirts. And sparkle. True Blood is another one. If you haven't watched it, I suggest it. The vampire, Bill, is also perfect. But the girl isn't really sure what to do. That's another thing. I want to scream at her "DUMBASS, HE IS A VAMPIRE" and allow her to interpret how she wants it.

Secondly, Bond villains. I saw Quantum of Solace earlier today, and it made me mad.

Where are the good old days when they built big lasers on the moon? (If you haven't seen the movie, turn back now)

What is the new guys plan? He plans to steal all of the water in Bolivia.

I'll say that again. Bolivia.

The last Bond villain, of Casino Royale, wanted cash, not world domination. But he knew how to get cash effectively. This fucker acts like he started with world domination, then said "Eh, fuck it. Bolivia is good enough."

Bond villains. Stop doing this to me. Fire a laser at Bond's crotch.

This Bond however, does have a very cool death, which was itself worth the ticket price.

Still though. Bolivia?

This is really something I should know.

If anyone is reading this, anyone at all who has the attention span to sit through my mindless, boring drivel and can actually stand it, I have a question:

What is the difference between a person with a problem and a functioning person with a problem. By which I mean, I've heard of alcoholics and I've heard of functioning alcoholics. Bulimics and functioning bulimics. So my question is, what is the difference.

It seems to me that being a functioning bulimic is worse than being a "regular" bulimic, just by the emphasis often used. Same with alcoholism. Does anybody know?